I like to imagine that little goblins put magic potions into my food that cause me to fall into deep sleep for days on end. How else am I to explain the swift passage of time and the minuscule amount of checkmarks on my to-do lists?
I am a procrastinator. I have made peace with it mostly. But I can’t expect everyone around me to feel the same way. I need rules and guidelines to use as a platform. Without it’s tethers, I am an astronaut floating out in space. Spinning wildly and hopelessly lost. It is amazing what I can get done in a day when I am supposed to be doing something else. A few weeks ago I had a sign to paint that needed to be done and shipped the next day. That day I moved furniture, cleaned out cupboards, organized dishes, did laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, washed windows, changed the sheets, went for a walk, worked in the garden, moved more furniture, made three dinners, and asked Gordon if he needed anything about 20 times. ANYTHING to not do what I was supposed to be doing!!
The good news is I cleaned off my desk a few days ago and have been back at work. I reorganized most of my shelves and donated a bunch of stuff I don’t use anymore to a local girls organization. It’s nice to actually be able to open my drawers and put my feet all the way under the desk.
I am a messy worker, but I like to have my workspace clear. It’s a constant fight. Sometimes I have to stop in the middle of a project just to clear away from stuff so my elbows can have room. I also have many ideas at once and they often merge into one another. For example, I will place a wooden cut out on a sign and think “the word blah blah blah would go nice with that.” Then I think- “but it might look great on a picture frame.” So I go get the frame. When I have the frame, I think- “you know that other cutout might look good on this frame. Or what about that poem or what if I wrote blah-blah-blah on THAT other piece of wood over there! And also there’s that birdhouse- I could paint it for Christmas. It could be red and green or blue and silver. Oh man, I also need to work on those two pieces over there. OH! I could knit a….” Then the cat comes and lays on top of everything.
By the time I am done, there are 27 completely unfinished, cat-hair-covered projects stacked on my workspace, it’s 4am and I go to bed. When I get up, I put all those frames, cutouts, ribbons and pieces of wood away, and close 500 tabs on google chrome from where I looked up poems, lyrics, clip-art, etc. Then I do it all over again.
Making lists doesn’t help. I fill up pages with ideas. As soon as I begin on one, (that’s assuming I can pick a starting point!!) I have 50 more to write down. I also loose lists. It’s kind of a ritual for me to spend several hours carefully planning a menu, looking at the sale ads, and making a grocery list- only to not be able to find it when I am ready to go to the store.
It is getting better though! I am slowly improving in all these areas. I have to keep reminding myself that I am still young. I shouldn’t expect to be perfect and successful at everything on the first attempt. I am still finding my style, building my cookbook, familiarizing myself with my font library and learning countless other things by experience. I mean, geez- I’m not even loyal to a brand of shampoo yet, how am I supposed to know what color to paint the house?? (We are painting the siding on our house.)
I am certainly not one of those young go-getters with several successful businesses, who seem to never rest. I am a slow-moving person. I like to sit and think. A lot. I like to lay in the grass and stare out the window. I like to sit in front of my space heater and listen to my cat snore. I like to take my time and meander a bit. I don’t mind slow restaurant service- it just means I get to sit in that comfy booth across from whoever I am with all the longer. I don’t mind heavy traffic- it’s just more time to listen to the radio or talk to your passenger. The point is, I am extremely content. Maybe a little too content. 🙂
Also- If I am supposed to be working on stuff for you- I promise I’ll get to it someday. Haha.